I love to read! I love to escape or travel to distant lands while still sitting at home in a cozy corner with a yummy drink. I sometimes read self help books when I feel myself failing or wondering. As a parent I feel like it is our responsibility to coach our kids to be able to become the best version of themselves. For me, this often means I need to find a piece of me that I have lost or never had in the first place. While our parents do their best for us, no one is perfect. While there are times I search for answers to my parenting questions it sometimes comes back to what I have had to discover in myself. I do not remember what question lead me to this book, but I came out of my cozy corner with a new appreciation for teaching my kids chores.
Again, this was a while ago. My oldest is off living his own beautiful life and some of the things from that book do not apply anymore: “Kids, this is a pay phone. It has a cord attached and you put coins into it to call a phone also attached to your house.” However, there are things we still use and concepts that have proven true again and again. This particular book was called The Parenting Breakthrough and it is by Marrilee Browne Boyack. My favorite thing about this book at the time was a list by age of chores that the average child is capable of doing. Not only was this eye opening for me, it was for my kids as well. For an example, I think one of the girls was 4 years old when she found herself in a situation she was apprehensive about. She stared at what was in front of her and her face changed to resolve when she said, “I know I can do this because I know how to fold towels.” One of her chores was folding the hand towels and wash clothes. This was an immediate testament as to how chores build confidence.
Something else I was surprised by and helped me with patience is that the average child needs to be instructed several times before they understand how to do something. Seems excessive. And, 100% its faster if I do it than to repeatedly teach each of my kids every chore. I think what I like is best is not only the responsibility they learn, its also the respect of others work. When the kids can say, “Bro! I just cleaned that!” The sibling respects and understands that. Same concept at places outside of the house. “Don’t make more work for others.” Obviously if we go out to eat, thats one thing. But if we go out to eat and smear window or a mirror or frame with food, drop all of our stuff on the floor, pour our drinks, etc thats another.